How many books did I read the last 5 years?
Chapter I:
I've been haunted by this question. Not obsessively enough to go after a solution, but almost as a statement on how books, unfortunately, were not being part of my life. And they should. I lost that feeling of living with a story for longer periods, feeling the characters in slower waves. Even though I blame myself, I have been looking for my other partners in crime that helped assassinate this desire... and I found many: videos became shorts, songs were at least 3 minutes long and now many are around 2 minutes, companies fighting over scraps of our attention everywhere. And I gave it to them, I accepted the terms without knowing the true costs of that... Then is there solution? Is my free will enough to unlock me? It's a BIG question, especially because I feel like I would have given up this text if it was a few months ago. But here's the thing: I've been looking for hope. I forced myself to watch videos that still exist on the internet about the process of making clay art. It hooked me enough to stay for longer periods. I started listening to podcasts that were talking about relevant things to me. And as a programmer and somewhat creative, a question started forming: is there any way to make technology help? Something that would make me read more? A project I could use my skills, maybe?! I started experimenting with something I like to call breadcrumbs through the story. Something other than the text: small animations, forming drawings, image sequences that would change based on the scroll position on our device... it truly felt like something else. I can be pretty hard on my creative adventures, so it caught my attention that I was still interested in this project even after months of part-time investing in it. Children's books, wedding stories, chronological narratives, and other things that were very visually appealing. And there's still so much to explore... so much it feels overwhelming at times. Before deciding to make this project my full-time thing, I announced it at my previous job. It was quite interesting to explain to people my new project, but one of the interactions really stayed with me. Let's call it: "Peter, the adventurer". When explaining to him my plans, I mentioned this feeling of wanting to incorporate my skills into this project and rescue untold stories. And he candidly told me about the time he went walking from Germany to Italy, by himself, and that he registered some pictures on his Instagram. I was amazed... I think I've hardly walked 5km to any place, and all of a sudden my colleague sitting right next to me had an experience I never imagined could even happen. I had to invite him for a lunch, both as a way to say goodbye but to also hear his story. The lunch would be my payment for that story. Peter walked from Düsseldorf to the northern tip of Lake Garda in Italy. 1,453 kilometres. Two months and one week on foot, crossing the Alps along the way. He carried only 7kg on his back... two t-shirts, a long-sleeve mid-layer, an insulated jacket, a rain cape, and an umbrella. That was it. Ultralight, as they call it. He planned the route carefully, searching internet forums for a safer path. His goal was 25km a day, sometimes pushing to 30 or 35. He took one day off per week, usually a Sunday, checking into a hotel just to wash his clothes and recover. Before the hardest part, the ascent into the Alps, he arrived early enough to rest for three or four days and gather his energy for what was coming. Most nights he slept in his tent. In the Alps, he booked beds in mountain refuges from the German Alpine Club. And once, a man named Bernd invited him into his home, gave him a guest room, and cooked for him. Deep conversations happened just because people were amazed by the courage of that act. A friend joined him for about two weeks during the Alps crossing, but most of the journey Peter walked alone. It was his first time using hiking poles. He discovered they were essential... distributing his weight across four points instead of two, saving his knees on the descents. The trip was already happening in the planning, isn't that a fundamental part of it? Peter was unemployed at the time. He didn't know what would come next. But he said the walk felt like meditation... an enormous sense of lightness, free from burdens, focused only on the present moment without worrying about tomorrow. After reaching Lake Garda, he didn't go straight home. He visited Verona, then spent a full week in Bologna just absorbing everything he had lived through. Peter walked, slept, carried his ultralight backpack everywhere, met kind people and tried different foods. As cliché as it sounds, while I was hearing him talk and my inner voice was saying "DAMN, that's a brave man — I would never", I was also being seduced by the feeling of being in nature for longer periods... Longer periods... I was hardly focusing on videos longer than 15 seconds, but there I was, paying attention to our conversation for around 1 hour. So in the end I was also still very much into longer stories. Something that would catch my attention and make me engage. Something that would make life feel deeper than what it sometimes appears. And my own stories — I wasn't even telling them properly, just because they wouldn't get much attention. When did I become so shallow that I was only interested in doing things for likes and followers... and that isn't even my job. Was this happening to anyone more than me? I don't think I'm that special to restrict that feeling to myself. This first chapter has no conclusion, as it shouldn't. What will I explore in other chapters? Who knows? I think it's also a discovery time for me. I'm just glad to have Faboolos by my side, and that this new reading format can be engaging for others as well.
the end (for now ;)